books I hate.
In honour of Kendrick Lamar we are telling the honest truth.
If Substack has taught me anything, it’s that there are so many insanely talented, un(traditionally)published writers out there. There are creators who post Notes about finally finishing their manuscript or submitting and then hoping and praying an agent will pick it up.
The publishing industry is currently experiencing an unprecedented transformation with the rise of AI and expansion into digital and audio formats. Every year an estimated 2.2 million new books are published and that number is expected to rise along with the category growth.
As an avid reader and advocate for new writers getting recognised, I’m thrilled about this development!
But there are some books out there that I truly can’t believe made it to publication.
I want to preface this by saying that I am a very generous book reviewer. In 2024 my average star rating out of 5 was 4.21 across 112 books read for the year. In 2025, I’m averaging 4.59 with 11 books read.
When it comes to reading and reviewing, I don’t take myself too seriously and I do not consider myself a hater.
Except for these four.
With these books, rating them a zero out of five is not enough. I need my time back and compensation for the rage and annoyance that has lived in my head rent-free since reading.
And so, since Kendrick Lamar’s Super Bowl performance demonstrated the power of hating with your whole chest, I’m feeling inspired to do the same. Consider this a PSA.
(remember, this is just my opinion and if you liked any of these books I’m happy at least someone did.)
Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis
(Oh my god I’m angry just thinking about this stupid book and before we go any further you should watch this excellent video essay by Cruel World Happy Mind on Hollis’s downfall because I promise it’ll be cathartic.)
Founder of the lifestyle website TheChicSite.com and CEO of her own media company, Chic Media, Rachel Hollis has created an online fan base of hundreds of thousands of fans by sharing tips for living a better life while fearlessly revealing the messiness of her own. Now comes her highly anticipated first book featuring her signature combination of honesty, humor, and direct, no-nonsense advice.
Each chapter of Girl, Wash Your Face begins with a specific lie Hollis once believed that left her feeling overwhelmed, unworthy, or ready to give up. As a working mother, a former foster parent, and a woman who has dealt with insecurities about her body and relationships, she speaks with the insight and kindness of a BFF, helping women unpack the limiting mind-sets that destroy their self-confidence and keep them from moving forward.
From her temporary obsession with marrying Matt Damon to a daydream involving hypnotic iguanas to her son’s request that she buy a necklace to “be like the other moms,” Hollis holds nothing back. With unflinching faith and tenacity, Hollis spurs other women to live with passion and hustle and to awaken their slumbering goals.
GIRL, THIS BOOK IS TRASH.
Do not be fooled by this fake ass blurb that sounds like it might provide some insight and inspiration into living a better life.
This book belongs in one place and one place only and that is the trash. It is total garbage, her stories of her “struggles” are nothing more than preachy brags about her white-privilege and all the rich, fancy people she knows. I got half way through and couldn’t continue because it made me want to gouge my eyes out. This woman knows nothing about actual struggle and hard ship and you could come away feeling worse about yourself than you did going in.
Self-care is never ever reading this rubbish, ok?
I’m not alone in my sentiments either:
Girl Crush by Florence Given.
GIRLCRUSH is a dark feminist comedy by bestselling author Florence Given.
In Given's debut novel, we follow Eartha on a wild, weird and seductive modern-day exploration as she commences life as an openly bisexual woman whilst also becoming a viral sensation on Wonder Land, a social media app where people project their dream selves online.
But as her online self and her offline self become more and more distanced, trauma from her past comes back to haunt and destroy her present.
Eartha must make a choice: which version of herself should she kill off?
When I tell you I harbour Kendrick Lamar grinning “Say Drake!” levels of hate against this fucking book.
Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.
This is the perfect example of someone who is successful in one area believing that that success and skill will translate into others…… and it did not.
Florence was handed the keys to the kingdom here and yet, this book was undoubtedly one of the worst things I’ve ever read. If Florence wasn’t Florence, this manuscript wouldn’t even have made it past the assistant’s desk at the publishing firm let alone onto bookshelves globally.
The plot was unhinged, the characters lacked any sort of depth and substance, the weird Director’s Note device felt shoehorned in a desperate attempt to make the preceding chapter make any sort of sense and the ending was an absolute dumpster fire which reeked of closing deadlines with no real plan or structure in place to bring the story to a close.
I’m sure Florence would say that sentiments like these are exactly what she’s talking about in the overarching message of the book but like, I’m sorry, you had the makings of a book handed to you on a silver platter and you still managed to make it an unbearably frustrating (for all the wrong reasons) read.
This book has an average Goodreads rating of 2.8 which is laughably bad but also validating.
Chasing the Devil: My Twenty-Year Quest to Capture the Green River Killer by David Reichert
Chasing the Devil is the gripping firsthand account of Sheriff David Reichert's relentless pursuit of the Green River Killer -- a 21-year odyssey full of near-misses and startling revelations.
For eight years, Sheriff David Reichert devoted his days and nights to capturing the Green River Killer. He was the first detective on the case in 1982, doggedly pursuing clues as the body count climbed to 49 and it became the most infamous unsolved case in the nation.
Frantically following all of his leads, Sheriff Reichert befriended the victims families, publicly challenged the killer, and risked his own safety -- and the endurance and love of his family -- before he found his madman. But Reichert's hunt didn't end when he finally cornered a truck painter named Gary Ridgway. It would be yet another 11 haunting years before forensic science could prove Ridgway's guilt beyond a shadow of a doubt. Told in vivid detail by the man who knows the whole story, this is a real life suspense story of unparalleled heroism.
I used to run a true crime YouTube channel (which I quit in February 2024). Part of that involved reading and researching a LOT of true crime books, articles, documentaries etc. Before I launched my channel this was a bit of a personal interest so I usually read a few true crime books each year anyway.
I picked up this book as I’d read Ann Rule’s on the case and I was interested in the first-hand account from one of the Sheriffs at the time.
What a mistake.
This is one of the all time worst true crime books I have ever read.
The author David Reichert was the lead detective on the Green River case for 21 years, and despite the shockingly high (49) number of victims, this asshole manages to make the story all about him and how great he is.
Oh! And how he's a victim too... (he truly said that if you can believe it).
Never have I read a more selfish account of a horrific case that widely affected so many.
It feels like the Green River Killer was the best thing to ever happen to Reichert who has probably been dining out on his involvement in this case ever since.Any time he mentions criticism brought by any of the families, he disregards it and instead talks about how hurt he feels by such critique.
Truly revolting piece of work.
If you want to learn about the Green River Killer, go and read Ann Rule's Green River Running Red instead and throw this one out the window.
Graveyard Shift by M.L. Rio
Author of sales sensation If We Were Villains returns with a story about a ragtag group of night shift workers who meet in the local cemetery to unearth the secrets lurking in an open grave.
Every night, in the college’s ancient cemetery, five people cross paths as they work the late shift: a bartender, a rideshare driver, a hotel receptionist, the steward of the derelict church that looms over them, and the editor-in-chief of the college paper, always in search of a story.
One dark October evening in the defunct churchyard, they find a hole that wasn’t there before. A fresh, open grave where no grave should be. But who dug it, and for whom?
Before they go their separate ways, the gravedigger returns. As they trail him through the night, they realize he may be the key to a string of strange happenings around town that have made headlines for the last few weeks—and that they may be closer to the mystery than they thought.
I feel like I’m constantly being gaslit about how good this writer is. This woman goes 7 years without publishing anything only for it to be a novella and STILL BAD WRITING.
I was one of the rare few who hated IWWV. I thought it was plotless, flat and boring and I did not understand the hype.
However, to be fair to M.L. Rio and her fawning fan club, I decided to give Graveyard Shift a go in case my thoughts on IWWV were a one off.
They weren't.
This woman cannot build tension or pull off a satisfying resolution to save herself, I SWEAR. This barely qualifies as a novella and I read one review which said it felt more like a rough outline for a full length novel, which I completely agree with.
Oddly, each chapter was from a different character's POV but the story wasn't long enough to justify five different character POVs as they don't have the chance to establish themselves or make us care. I truly can't tell you anything about them other than that they all chain smoke and have insomnia?? And maybe two of them are queer?
Nothing of interest happened in this story. It started out with promise before quickly fizzling out into nothing. M.L. Rio is definitely good at building atmosphere, but that is truly where her writing skills start and finish.
I can't believe her editors didn't push her to better develop this story. After all - she had seven years to do it! I don't believe M.L. Rio is at all deserving of the hype and praise she receives and after reading both of her very boring and anti-climactic books I can safely say I am 1000% done with anything she has to write or say.
A final note to say thanks for reading along and also a reminder that reading is subjective so just because I hated these books with every fibre of my being, I know that there are heaps of people out there that loved them and that’s just great. That difference of opinion and interpretation is what makes literature interesting.
Your hatred is inspiring ❤️
Happy to say I've not had the misfortune to read any of these books 😀